How We Made It Work

Week Two

This was another rough week – for totally unexpected reasons. Sometimes, one partner supports the other more than they receive support, and this was one of those reasons.

Earlier this week my dad called with the news that my step mom (who had been complaining of indigestion over Christmas) had a cardiologist confirm that what she thought was indigestion was really a heart attack. She was immediately admitted to the hospital for overnight observation and testing. She’s going to be okay – but news like that is never easy to hear.

That weighed heavily on my mind (on both of us really) all week and this was one of those times when I needed more support than I could give.

Josh was everything I needed, and more. He came home early from work to be with me when we found out, and was diligent about checking in with me while we were waiting for the news. He knew there was nothing he could say or do to make it better for me – and he didn’t try. (Anyone who has been through grief knows that sometimes the worst things are people who don’t know what to say, but say things anyway.) He was just there for me – we ordered pizza and he was okay if the bed didn’t get made and he was just there for me. If I needed to cry, that was okay, or if I just wanted to watch tv, that was okay too.

Sometimes, it’s hard to let yourself be taken care of like this. It makes you feel dependent, like you can’t take care of things on your own. It seems to go against how we’ve always been raised to be – strong, independent women. That’s part of the beauty of a well balanced relationship though – you can let yourself be taken care of, and your partner won’t think less of you for it.

How we made it work this week

  • Josh supported me emotionally this week
  • I opened myself up to being vulnerable by showing my emotions
  • Josh still respects me as an independent person
  • Josh was here for me no matter how I needed him (Even though he’s out at a Houston Rockets game now in the office suite and spouses weren’t invited to go!)

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One Response to How We Made It Work

  1. Libbie says:

    I am so sorry about your stepmom. I hope she is feeling better. Hope you are too. You and Josh sound like you are doing all the right things. It is seldom a 50/50 arrangement,as I am sure you are finding out;you doing great.
    Love Ms L

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