Letter 2.5

Dear Marion,

I don’t know how to start this letter off exactly, except to say that it’s been a difficult month. All that joy I had last month in celebrating you and Eliza Jane has lost some of it’s shine as you’ve realized that hey, baby sister is really here to stay. And in a way that’s totally normal, you’ve taken out all your frustrations and insecurities on mama. While it’s normal, it’s not pleasant for me, that’s for sure.

{ just call her cousin Eddie }

You’ve developed this insanely annoying thing of telling us (me) that your tummy hurts and then just bursting in to tears. Or saying that you’re “sooooooooo seepy” then just melting down. It’s been very hard for me to deal with it because on the one hand, you seem to say these things when I’m at my busiest and most occupied, leading me to think that it’s an attention getting mechanism. On the other hand, I’m totally freaked out that something is actually wrong with you. It’s fun being a mom, let me tell you. I keep telling myself, like all things toddler related, this too shall pass. It’s just a phase. This too shall pass. Rinse. Repeat.

{ you’re so big now, you insist on carrying your lunch box at school }

One day I may even believe it.

{ apparently you drank some of my coffee when I wasn’t looking }

I know part of the reason you’re acting out like this is because you’re just growing by leaps and bounds and really beginning to understand so many big concepts and ideas. Sometimes that’s scary and frightening but it’s also fun and exciting. I love how I am able to interact with you just so much more now. You love being a helper and I’m trying to take full advantage of that fact now! You can follow multi-step instructions now with no problems. Sometimes I’ll rattle off a list of three or four things for you to help me with and I continue to be amazed when you can do all those things.

{ there’s a toddler in there somewhere }

Although I have to say sometimes I’ll send you into your room for your shoes and you get distracted with organizing your socks. Or you tell me that you’re going into the playroom to get your baby, only to come out fifteen minutes later with your puzzles. I always have a laugh to myself when you disappear for ten minutes because I never know what you’re going to come back with!

{ “helping” daddy with dinner }

As much as you amaze me with your abilities, I have to frequently remind myself that you aren’t even two and half years old (at least, until next month) yet and not to be surprised when you actually act like a two year old. I’m trying to be more patient with you, but I’m not really a patient person, so this is pretty hard for me. However, having a toddler is often like a looking into a mirror and sometimes what you see back isn’t very pretty. You’ve started yelling at the dogs and Eliza a lot, which at first was funny to hear you say “MERCY ELIZA JANE” as she’s crying. But after the first time, I realized that hey, it probably means I’m doing too much yelling and that’s not really a pretty picture to see reflected back at yourself. I still yell a lot more than I’d like, but I promise, I’m working on it.

{ your new cowboy boots }

You really do hold me accountable as a mom and that’s becoming much more apparent as you get further away from two and closer to three. I’ll ask you to put your shoes up in your room, but then just kick mine off at the door. I can see the look on your face like, um, mama, aren’t you going to put yours up too? I frequently have to remind myself that I can’t expect things from you if I can’t do them myself.

{ first french braid. such a big girl moment }

As you can tell, this month has been probably more about my development as a mom than anything else. You’ve always been my challenge and just when I start to get complacent, thinking I’ve gotten this parenting thing under control, you give me another challenge.

{ you’re so cute sometimes }

It’s not all bad though, I promise! This month has seen you really start to read out loud and man, I love that. You’ve memorized several of your books cover to cover and it’s so much fun to hear you sit and read to your babies or to Eliza Jane. You’ve become so much more narrative this month and a highlight of my day to hear you talk about your day at school. Of course, at this point, we still can’t tell fact from fiction, but it’s fun nonetheless. Your teachers always get a kick out of me coming in and asking what your class did yesterday so I can tell. One night at dinner, I asked you what you did for your craft project at school, and for several minutes, with words and gestures you tried to tell us. We tried to understand, but we just couldn’t quite grasp what you were saying. You were so frustrated with us, it made us laugh. Turns out, you’d played with rubber stamps in school that day and that’s what you were trying to tell us. So now, we know you can stamp at school. In addition to painting, with a toothbrush you say. Never with your fingers though. Your teachers tell me that you freak the freak out when you get paint on your hands. Which also cracks me up. I’d give anything to be a fly on the wall for a day at your school.

{ watching TV with monkey buddy on a sick day }

So enough of this letter writing for now, as Eliza is asleep, and you aren’t, so we can actually spend some time together without that pesky little sister of yours.

{ video chatting with Gigi }

I love you big girl of mine. As much as you frustrate and challenge me, you also inspire and motivate me. You hold an amazingly special place in my heart.

{ my little punk rock ballerina }

Love,
Mama

{ reading to Eliza Jane }

{ saying the blessing }

This entry was posted in letters to my daughters, Marion. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Letter 2.5

  1. Jessica says:

    This was very very sweet!

  2. Andrea Woods says:

    Kati, you have such a way with words. Your letter brought tears to my eyes, and tugged at my heart-strings. Marion and Eliza Jane are VERY blessed to have you for a MOMMY!

  3. Angie says:

    Ok, what are the words for the blessing? TOO CUTE!

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