Today

Today I will try to be more like my children

I will laugh when the dog licks my face
I will declare oatmeal to be “my favorite” even though I eat it every morning
I will smile like it’s going to break my face every time I see someone I love walk in the room
I will laugh at the same joke I’ve heard a thousand times
I will think a weed is the most beautiful flower in the world and carefully hold it in my grubby fist
I will say thank you for a drink of water
I will close my eyes and laugh for joy when the world is still there when I open them back up
I will hold hands when I walk down the stairs
I will say “I love you, you’re my favorite” for no reason
I will tell everyone I meet it’s almost my birthday and smile shyly when they say “happy birthday, what a big girl!” back to me
I will look at the world with joy and innocence through my child’s eyes

I will remember that over 3,000 children lost a parent on this day, ten years ago
I will remember the sadness and bleakness of that day and look at this day, ten years later, and fill it will all the joy and love that it can hold and be thankful
I will hug and hold my children and tell them that sometimes the world isn’t sunshine and rainbows but that as long as it is up to me, I will hold the umbrella over their heads when it rains and make sure that they have the cutest rain boots I can find for when stormy weather comes
I will teach them to pray in the words of St Francis “Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope. Where there is darkness, light.”

I will not, however, cry because my sippy cup was the wrong color, I can promise you that.

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2 Responses to Today

  1. Kay Martin says:

    Beautiful.

  2. Linda says:

    What a moving piece, Kati! I hope you somehow preserve a hard copy of this to use as a teaching tool every year from now on. As the girls get older, they will learn more and more of what 9/11 meant for our Country and how your words will always be there to wrap your arms around them.

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