Oh my sweet little girl,
Once again, month five finds you sleeping on my chest, super snug in our Moby wrap. Strangely enough, you actually like to be held like a baby in it now, something you despised when you were a newborn. Every once in a while, I lean down and let you breath on my face and our breath intermingles and I’m reminded of how not that long ago, I was breathing for you. I treasure that memory and these few precious moments. This has been the month of your emerging independence and I don’t know how much longer you’ll be content to always be in my arms.
You’ve pretty well mastered sitting up this month. I can’t leave you alone (or at least not without surrounding you with pillows!) but you can sit between my legs and play for quite a while. You love having your toys piled all around you and I’m amazed by the fact that you can make choices now! It’s so neat to see you decide that you want this toy and not that one. Although Daddy and I joke quite a bit about what a gluttonous child you are because you often try to grab as many things with your hands as possible! You’ve been known to have two toys in each hand and reach for things with your feet! When you lose your balance sitting up and topple onto your belly, we can almost see you beginning to crawl. Surely that isn’t possible! You love to laugh, that’s been another big thing this month. Daddy tickles you and blows raspberries on you every night before bath time and you think it’s just the funniest thing in the world. You also let us know how happy you are to see us when we walk into a room. You get the biggest smile on your face and sometimes squeal with glee. Of course, you do this when you see the puppies too! The puppies have become some of your best friends this month; Nanuq even brings you his toys from time to time! It won’t be long before you start to throw them for him I’m sure.
I’ve tried to slow myself down this month, to let go of my ideals of perfection and to just enjoy this time. This is a bittersweet time because you’re really beginning to transition from being just an infant to being an actual baby. You laugh now, you can anticipate things (which makes playing with you so much fun!), you definitely let us know when you aren’t happy, you like to be the center of attention, and just a lot more of your personality is starting to show through. You love your little friends and it’s so neat to watch you interact with them. Daddy joined us for a playgroup on Valentine’s day and he really loved being able to watch you around the other babies. It’s kind of funny, because there haven’t been any new big milestones you’ve hit this month, you’ve just really been perfecting your current skill set, but somehow, you seem much older now than when you were doing all these new things at once.
Some words of wisdom I read this month were from Dr Sears and he said to try to treasure night wakings. To look at them as a bonding time, a time when your usually busy and active baby has slowed down and wants to be held and snuggled. So after reading that, I sat up with you and held you while I fed you, rather than just rolling over and semi-falling back asleep while feeding you like normal. And it was so sweet, especially now when you tend to want to stop eating every five minutes to go play. I woke up the next morning and even though I was less rested physically, I felt recharged emotionally. Then the next two nights, you slept straight through. That’s a pretty good indication of what your personality is like and what life is like with you – never the same thing twice!
That’s continued to be a parenting struggle this month as well. Do we just follow your lead, trusting that babies know what they want when they want it, even if that means changing things up on an almost daily basis? Or do we try to introduce some schedule and routine in your life, even if that means putting up with the screaming fits and general displays of bad temper when things don’t go your way? I’m sure the answer lies somewhere in a happy medium, but man, is it hard to find it most days! I tend to over think the decisions we make for you and I wish I could just be more confident when I do decide on something for you. But that’s where your dad comes in and why we’re such a good match. It is funny though, that in parenting I’m the over-thinker and he’s more relaxed than I am!
Speaking of Daddy and me, we celebrated six years of being together this month! We normally try to celebrate by going to the circus (I have a soft spot for the elephants and cotton candy) but that couldn’t be arranged this year, so we took you to the zoo for the first time instead. Daddy even took the day off of work! The time you spent awake, you really seemed to enjoy the trip. Especially the goats in the petting zoo, but I think you thought they were just funny looking puppies.
You are just such a joy to us, a trial, a tribulation, a source of frustration, but above all else, you are always our joy and our love.