Pregnancy Journal – Week Five

19.January.2008
5 weeks

I hit five weeks today.  I remember with the twins what a big milestone that felt like.  It still does in some ways, but it also reminds me that I’m only halfway to my ten week “goal.”

I met Megan for knitting today – it was nice to be able to get out and not be baby obsessed the whole time.  I can’t wait to start knitting baby things.  I think I’ll begin after we see the heartbeat.  I keep reminding myself of something one of my H&H mamas said “hope does not make bad things happen.”

20.January.2008
5 weeks, 1 day

21.January.2008
5 weeks, 2 days

Oh my – first trimester exhaustion has really really hit me today!  I went to the gym, then the grocery store, and when I got home I showered, then took about a two hour nap.  Now, we’re done with dinner and I’m ready for bed!

Again, the nausea thing is so weird.  I don’t really feel sick, but then all of a sudden, it’s like “I think I’m going to puke!”  So at the grocery store today I picked up some ginger tea and some mother-to-be tea.  I don’t care for the ginger tea, but there’s no doubt that it helps quite a bit.  I also ordered some preggie pops last week which should hopefully be in this week.  It will be interesting to see if they work or not.

I think I came to a conclusion about the blood work/ultrasound debate.  I think I’ll just stick with the blood work right now and try with all the self control I can muster to put my ultrasound as close to seven weeks as possible.  I told Josh this tonight and he thinks that’s the best decision for all of us.  I imagine it’s going to be stressful – especially if I have to go a whole week without a doctor’s appointment.  But I’m going to try to start yoga this week, which will hopefully help me control my anxiety better than I’m doing now.  I’ve really been struggling with the anxiety – I notice sometimes my heart starts to race really fast if I think about it too much.  So one of the things I’m going to do tomorrow is make one of those construction paper chains with 53 chains on – that’s how many more days I have until I’m out of the first trimester.  Every day, I’ll take a link off of it.  When I get worried or anxious or nervous, I’ll write it down on the link for that day.  In the morning when I wake up, I’ll cut off the previous day’s link, and in that way, I’ll be starting each day with a clean slate.  Childish perhaps, but I think it will help.

Other than that, not a lot happened today – it seems that I spent most of it sleeping!

22.January.2008
5 weeks, 3 days

I took another two hour nap today – even after going to bed at 9:00 p.m. last night!  I had another session with Cedric today and gah, I felt so weak!  I woke up this morning just not feeling well again.  I do have to say I felt a lot better after working out, so that was good.  I just have to get up and go.  It’s good I have to take Josh to work in the morning, that at least gets me up and going.

We had super spicy chicken vindaloo for dinner last night and it really hurt me at bedtime, in the middle of the night, and again this morning.  Heartburn is something the twins never gave me, but I’ve had it several times already.  I had the chicken leftovers for lunch today and had already had four tums by the time Josh got home from work.

I hope all of these things are good signs – I feel like I’m getting a slightly better grip on my anxiety now.

Tomorrow is hopefully my last beta draw!

23.January.2008
5 weeks, 4 days

The doctor’s office flubbed up again today.  When Angie called last week, she asked if I wanted to pick my lab sheet desk up at the nurses’ station or have it with the lab tech.  I said with the lab tech.  Guess what? The lab tech didn’t have it.  So I had to go back to the nurses’ station, and not only did they not have it where it was supposed to be, it wasn’t even written out!  And the person who wrote it up was someone I’d never even seen before.  I’m going to wait until I see Dr. Z again and if this trend continues, I’ll say something to him.  I don’t really want to leave him, but I do have other options.  I’m giving serious thought to switching to the midwives if they are able to deliver at Methodist.

So now just the waiting game until the call tomorrow.  Although I will start calling every hour on the hour at eleven tomorrow wanting to know the results.

I want to schedule the first ultrasound for next week on the 31st.  It will be six months since we found out David and Jonathan didn’t make it and I figure if I get bad news then, well, the day couldn’t get much worse. If it’s happy news, then that will make the anniversary a little sweeter.

I also made my worry chain today – it was therapeutic making it.  I just hope it continues to help me. Right now, it seems so long and endless.

24.January.2008
5 weeks, 5 days

Betas are back today – 11089.  Doubling time of 64.77 hours.  Angie was so impressed with them.  She actually said, so last time your betas were 1837 and are you sitting down for this?  She was really excited about them.  I’m just so doubtful – the doubling time seems really low to me.  But I’ve posted everywhere I can post, and not one person has told me I have anything to worry about – everyone says the numbers are fabulous.  I just feel otherwise.

First ultrasound is next Tuesday at 9:45 a.m.  Gloria asked if I wanted the 9:45 or the 3:00 p.m.  I was like, um, 9:45 please!  I don’t want to spend the whole day waiting!  I’m absolutely nervous now (not that I was exactly calm before.)  With my numbers being above 10,000 and being six weeks when the ultrasound is scheduled, that means they should definitely see a heartbeat on the screen.  If they don’t – I’m pretty sure that means some bad news.  I’m just trying not to think about it too much.  That’s not really possible though.

I went to the gym today – but Cedric was out sick.  So I just walked on the treadmill for a bit.  I felt pretty awful when I started, but felt a good deal better afterwards.  I was talking to Valerie when Doc Jacquie came up and asked me if we knew if it was a boy or a girl yet.  I told her no, I was only almost six weeks and Valerie was like, “You’re pregnant?!”  It was fun telling them – I now have two more “mamas” to watch me (and my weight!)  I also told them about losing the twins, so if something happens to Poppy, it will make the untelling easier.

I had a major breakdown on the phone with Josh today – I just sobbed for a good five minutes.  Pretty sure that’s some major doses of pregnancy hormones 🙂

I’ve started taking my progesterone at night, that seems to have helped with some of the symptoms, particularly the dizziness.

I just have to hold out five more days.

25.January.2008
5 weeks, 6 days

I had my first actual vomiting session this morning.  I just didn’t feel well this morning – so I made some hot water with lemon and honey.  I had my normal gagging session, and lost a little bit of the water.  When I got home from taking Josh to the office, I had some orange juice, thinking that would make me feel better.  It did – for about an hour, then I lost it all.  My stomach muscles are hurting now.

One Response to Pregnancy Journal – Week Five

  1. Libbie says:

    Hang in,you’re doing great.

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