Week One

How is it possible you are a week old already? In some ways, we can’t even remember our lives without you.

People say newborns don’t do much – but they’ve never met you. You came into this world screaming and while you’ve stopped since, the personality hasn’t stopped. You are just such a little person of your own making.

Your daddy and I are amazed at the changes in you already – it makes me look forward to every day to see what new things you’ll do and learn. I can’t imagine what our lives will be like in just another week, not to mention a month or a year.

In such a short time, all of our priorities have been rearranged. The faintest squeak from you and we both jump up to make sure you’re okay. There’s nothing better than when your eyes fix on ours and maybe we’re making this up, but I swear you already know we’re your parents.

Most days, I don’t know what I’m doing and I second guess every decision I make about you and I’m constantly worrying if you’re getting enough to eat or enough sleep or, or, or, or. But even when you’ve been screaming for an hour and nothing we do works to calm you down, it all disappears when you fall asleep on my chest. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for how overwhelming this job of being a mother is – or how rewarding.

It’s the corniest line of all, but I never knew love could feel this way. When you fall asleep on your Daddy’s chest, I feel that my heart is about to explode. When it’s time to nurse, and you get all excited and start squeaking, I wouldn’t trade that for anything. When you grab my finger and don’t let go, I want time to stop.

You’re my daughter and I never knew what that meant, I never had any idea what that one sentence could contain. It means you came out of me, that you are a part of me in a way that only you and I will ever know about. It means that when you wiggle around in your crib, I felt you move that way in my belly. It means that you make us a family – that you complete your Daddy and me in ways I never knew we needed completing. It means that I’d do anything to keep you safe. It means that every day, I wake up and wonder what new things we’ll do together, what new things you’ll learn. Being my daughter means that there’s this link between us, between you and your Grandma, between you and all the women in our family. It means that you are a part of me, but you are a person all of your own. It means that you are my daughter, and that makes me a mother.

4 Responses to Week One

  1. momma/grandma says:

    words of expression are hard to come by and where you find those words that mean so much…i can’t imagine…but you say them so well…and i know i love you both so much……….
    grandma…

  2. Jen says:

    Kati,

    This post is so beautiful. I am so over the moon for you and Josh! Take care!

    Jen (momoftworedheads from MDC)

  3. Kati, your letter tp marian is heartwarming granny Chris

  4. My other words didnt get thru/ so, all the words i said, I will tell you on phone love to three special loved ones Granny C………….

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